…and I’m out the other side. Wind-swept, ruddy cheeked, still shaken and more than a little disorientated – but I survived. Laptop didn’t, but I did.
The past few weeks have been…interesting to say the least. And I’m as out there as I’m ever going to be. And I’m done checking every social media app, platform, inbox, Amazon rating and sales figures, listening to expert tips being screamed at me on YouTube 178 times per hour. Finie! Talk about sensory overload! I do not know how people can do that for a living. Talking louder, like my oldest does to my French speaking youngest, doesn’t mean you are any easier understood, doesn’t mean I am more likely to listen. My brain has all but imploded…
So, this beautiful, rainy Sunday, I am going to do something nice with the boys. Trampolining (them not me – would rather not elaborate as to why)? Bowling? A nice lunch (definitely my first choice). Maybe even a leisurely jaunt to B&Q? Then I might actually get down to some writing – hopefully re-writing that 3000 words lost even better this time round. Last night, I lay in bed watching tv and mapping out the plan for novel 4. I already have it written in my head – but just getting the chronology right. And I can’t wait. Now that part, I love.
Then, I am going to cook a lovely Sunday tea. Perhaps that traditional African stew – Kansiye? Perhaps roast chicken with all the trimming? Probably both to please the masses. We are going to have a golf tournament on the Wii (just the right level of technology as far as I’m concerned) and I might put my pj’s on early today and maybe watch an episode of Carnival Row (to appease The Handmaid’s Tale withdrawal symptoms). Unashamedly, I am going to try to play interactively with Philip Schofield in 5 Gold Rings on my cracked iPad, and I am going to make everyone else play too and smile smugly when they get it wrong and I am victorious. “Never mind. Better luck next time. I don’t know where I get all this knowledge from!” I might even try to get my name on screen too – “Well done author Jackie Horner from Bury who is at the top of our ranks as well as writing the novel Jailbird (available on Amazon now) too!” Phil might say. Now, that would really be getting me out there! And when that doesn’t happen, I am going to go to bed and read. A book. An actual book which is nothing to do with my book. Then I am going to go to sleep at a sensible hour. And I am going to sleep. And I am not going to check any social media whatsoever. In other words, I’m going to have a proper Sunday, just like the old days.
Funny, when I was young, I hated Sundays. They were sooooooo boring. Always commencing with a big Scottish fry up (fruit pudding or fried dumpling mandatory) to ensure mobility of any sort was an impossibility during daylight hours, watching The Waltons or The Little House on the Prairie followed by hours of flicking through boring papers and watching things like Bullseye (laughing when they won a speed boat but lived in a council estate with no driveway, unwittingly chanting along with each of Jim’s catchphrases – Stay out of the black and in the red, nothing in this game for two in a bed) and Antiques Road Show (maybe even a bit of that femme fatale Jessica Fletcher in the most deadly place in the continental US – Cabot Cove), taping the charts as you were made to wash (by hand) every greasy plate and roasting tray from dinner (arguing with your big sister that it was your turn to dry this time), wishing away every tedious minute until the world started turning again on Monday. We often played card games or Trivial Pursuits in a forlorn attempt to accelerate this process. You already see the irony of it, right?
So today, I am shutting the laptop and silencing the phone. I am giving my brain chance to recover. I am having some quality, relaxed time with my family. I am having a proper Sunday. Hope you are too! x
JD Horner author 